this guy's trying to beat me at my own game!?

my new game i've created on match.com is "the funny email game". it's somewhat self explanatory. i read mens profile's then find something that i find humorous within the content, then send a witty/quirky/hilarious/sarcastic message to match.com user. for example, i noticed this man posted that he would be off match.com in 5 days so i sent him an email that read:
so putting time restraints on how long people can contact you really works. i didn't even read your profile, i just read that there were only 5 days left and felt an urgency to send a message. i also buy things off of late night infomercials when they say the special price is only available for the next 2 minutes. i really don't have anything to say, but that's a pretty wicked pic of the stingray you have there sir. and the gorilla looks ferocious. i hope that you really experienced those things and didn't just get those pics off of the national geographic website. hope your last 5 days are super productive. love, rachael

i then wait to see if said user responds. in the end i'm always the winner because i get the last laugh. even if he never responds, i think it's funny and can chuckle about it to myself. that is, i thought i was always the winner until this little number popped up in my inbox:
Hi...
I like your shot of the grey-muzzled dog in the car. It reminds me of a dog-friend in North Carolina named Mike. Mikes a good dog. I feel sad though when he gets pushed around by the little jack russel. Mike's so old and stiff...I have fun pushing through the dog pile to get to pet him.

Brevity, I'll give it a rare try here. Have a great day. Smiles, Jim

what in the holy hell is this? is this chump bastard is trying to beat me at my own game?! i refuse to believe this is an honest attempt to connect with another human being. i mean really...dog-friend...i feel sad when he gets pushed around by the little jack russel...the whole damn thing! there is only one explanation. this is one of my victims, trying like hell to beat me at my own game! he might be the guy i sent the sarcastic message to about feeling most satisfied when i can have a smoke after winning a race or maybe the guy that i asked if he wanted to go out with my friend, or maybe the guy who had h-town in his screen names and i sent all the h-named towns in utah to him and told him to pick one(thank you jessica!)...all i know for sure is that it's someone who thinks he can outsmart me. well let me make this perfectly clear mister smartypants, you will never win. never. this is war!